'I must be an acrobat, to talk like this and act like that...' -Actung Baby,U2
I am Jacob Bailey. I have been writing here for a while now. I am 27 years old, on the brink of moving to Spain. I love my wife and two beautiful children. Glad you stopped by - please let me know you were here by posting a comment.
leading with QUESTIONS
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Cool site
Here's a cool link to a great collection of historical Christian Art
If only...if only...if only I could post images...
Carivaggio's "The Incredulity of Saint Thomas" would go right...
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There now...can't you imagine it? (OK, I give up, go out to the site instead.)
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
just in!
Campolo says (which is what I wondering about a few weeks ago) in Adventures in Missing the Point that we Americans are 6% of the world's population but consumers of 43% of the world's resources. It's getting uglier.
choose
I was telling my friend Jason...
"I have been listening to a lot of U2 lately. Man their spiritual journey has really inspired me. NO doubt about it – these dudes have lived life in the fire to the full and yet they haven’t lost the faith somewhere. It has only be refined into something powerful that is changing lives around the globe for the better. Good stuff!
At some point we have to do something. At some point we have to choose to live for something. In not choosing everyone loses out. I am trying to love people – but the fact is that I am not very good at. It is all too easy to love number one – and too tempting to let life fill up with meeting my own needs first. Don’t get me wrong I want to be a real person – but a simple person, a humble person, whose self love doesn’t intrude or step in the way of seeing and loving other people."
welling up to eternal life
Check out this opportunity to love people in Africa and encourage Bono and the rest of the band to continue doing their thing!
African Wells for Birthday!(props Jord - you're the man)
Monday, March 29, 2004
on the back
I am amazed at my inate longing for approval in the sight of people. I love to get a good pat on the back. If I am honest this is what I am always conciously or unconciously looking for. Good sermon Jacob! Good thought man! Great leadership Jacob!
It's pretty sick and lifeless. Right here on the blog. "Will 'they' like it? Or hate it? Will I get stars, brownie buttons, or points? If i say the right thing? If I think the right thought? If I am creative enough? If I am reading the right books?" An acrobat. A poser. A player. A fake.
I just want to be a real person. Not dependant or totally affected by what you do or don't say. I just want to be me. I just want to live before God as me. Oh, the depth of my insecurities, oh the riches of my failures...
Jesus help me see you and be me.
It's a new week! It's a new day!
'Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.'
Ps 84:5 NIV
'Love must be sincere.'
Rom 12:8-9 NIV
Thursday, March 25, 2004
a window
Here's a window into my conversation with R.E. (field director for CMA in Spain):
"I am glad you have opened this conversation again. You don’t how much time, thought, and prayer each day I give to this “burden of a call” to serve the Lord in a place like Spain. Lately I have been so restless to do “new” things. I have dreams daily of how to communicate the gospel in our brave new postmodern world. I feel as though now is the time to recover the voice of the church that speaks a relevant and meaningful message to the emerging populations. I feel deeply called to somehow incarnate this gospel message among postmodern people groups. The scary thing is that much of what we consider to be “church work” or “church structure” may need to be let go of so that new structures or ways of ministering can be established. My biggest fear right now is that if I release myself (and my wife) to the Alliance system there might not be enough “freedom” or “room” to do what and be who we feel called to be.
We are less enthusiastic about the Alliance as a sending agency than ever previously. In fact some days all we do is dream of cutting ties completely and simply moving to Spain to live…and see what happens. Others have done it. It fact a growing number of sold out Christian missionaries are going this route.
You must be honest with me. Would the Alliance mission in Spain be very open to what may look like “extreme” measures to communicate the gospel and the reality of God’s Kingdom to postmodern young people?"
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
de(con)struction
The dust cloud.
When the towers came down the dust cloud came out.
When big things fall down thick clouds go up and cloak
the disaster and choke and confuse all who are near.
What I understood, what I built and put together
fell down. I stand enveloped in the cloud not knowing
what remains or what is gone. Just choking
Confused. 'Stuck in a moment.'
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Is Bono happy?
Find the answer here with Oprah and also Bono's desire to be an artist who communicates and captures joy. Follow the link to her interview with him. Pretty incredible.
here's one
Americans (in 1970) consumed 1/2 of the earth's available resources while only representing 1/15 of the earth's poplulation. I wonder where we are at now?
What happens when we live in a global village where love your neighbor as yourself means less trips to Costco, Wal*Mart, and Target?
No wonder why they paraded in the streets when they sunk the two towers! From the outside looking in it must be hard not to hate.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
mid-week madness
Yep, it's wednesday. I am diggin' for stuff to write. Strange because other times it just spills forth. For a while now I have been wanting to re-pick up my Cultural Anthropology book and give it a-look-see. Finally got to that yesterday and I couldn't put it down. It is by Paul Heibert and copywrite is 76 and 83. Wow, it's ancient. But it's so relevant. There so much in there that capture my thoughts and my heart.
Some of the most challenging info in there were his (a decade old) statistics about American comsurmerism as it relates to increasing world population and global needs. I will post some of the stats tomorrow (I'll try).
As a Christ follower I am feeling compelled to find new ways to drop of the prevailing comsumer system that would try and blind me/and my fellow Americans into exalting ourselves and wasting and hogging precious resources that others around the globe die daily for lack of.
Monday, March 15, 2004
get over it project...
Homophobic? Trying to "get over it." I am called to love people not to be scared of them. Whatever's in the way of the flow of grace must be removed. Oh God, pull the plank out.
My journey has taken me to the "get over it project" that I began a while ago. What does that mean? So far, all it means is I just check in with this Unitarian Universalist (his blog), and see what he has to say. He is gay and a father. Something in me cringes about that. But I am trying to listen to what he has to say. The fact that he is minister for the Unitarian church gives the whole thing an interesting twist. It was by accident that I found his site. Or was it God's Spirit leading me on?
His most recent post (March 13, 2004) is a striking story. It's one worth wresting with. It begs lots of good questions. Dreaming about a church with a new voice, and a new heart, and new ears that will listen to all, where do we start?
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Why does Brian keep getting it right?
Here he goes again! Check out Brian on the Passion here. He nails it. I was amazed that we spent over $1500 dollars on this thing and the very next day our church attendance (as if that means anything) actually dropped to a new low. What are we doin'? What are we not doin'?
I thought Brian's identification of our bad habit was rediculously too true: "[modern American Chirstians] bounce...from one silver-bullet "outreach opportunity" to the next - seeking single source shortcuts to complete our mission, which we hope to finish as soon as possible, I guess so we can all get to heaven so the wolrd and its troubles are left behind."
And next week "Rick Warren tells why his church is riding successfully the culture wave generated by The Passion." What? "Culture wave"?
Success! Yeah! Success!
How many AID's victims around the world died in the time it took me to construct this bull shit? And I care very little if I am honest. And I claim to be a Christian...What??
Monday, March 08, 2004
Todd and Andrew
Check this out. Great discussion going on through these two dudes. Tania and I were up at the Q in Seattle and heard Todd Hunter two weeks ago. These two fellas are leading us out into the brave new world's ripe harvest feilds.
friends...
There's nothing like good friends...thanks Jord for your friendship that gives me fuel for the journey. I am challenged and encouraged by our friendship - and your courage to press on in your journey...
"...I am not the only one, staring at the sun..." - Pop, U2
Thursday, March 04, 2004
beyond tracing out...
Different U2 anthems collide in my head...I continue to gravitate in their direction. I was struck by these words from Paul in Romans the other night:
Oh the depths of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgements,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
(Romans 11:33,34)
It just hit me. Duh! "his paths untraceable." Wheww...it's ok not to have the answer...it's ok not to know...some things, maybe most things, are out of reach...
Relief to me. I am trying to figure out the whole "ordination" thing. What am I supposed to do? "Defend pre-millenialism" no thanks...I am really not interested in our theological castles in the sky. We have too many. They have too many loopholes. They break down and mean very little to John Doe on the street with a real life. I am attracted to grace though. I am attracted to the grace shown in Jesus Christ. I agree with Bono, I think grace can change the world.
Do something from a heart of grace today. Show someone a little grace, shine a little light. Don't pass a christian novel to a "lost" person instead smile at someone you don't know, lend someone your hand, listen to someone. Do something graceful.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
I couldn't believe it happened...
My wife (Tania) and I had an unexpected deep and disturbing conversation last night. For the first time we questioned "the call." Up until this point we have been setting our course according the call. Missions degree at simpson => Accredidation with the CMA => Home service here in Lacey Church => working towards ordination => Blah, blah, blah...some day a missionary...right?
But what is this call thing? How can somebody claim to know exactly where God wants them to serve? All we know is that the shape God is giving us lately isn't fitting in very well to the shape of "the call." Still questioning this "call" thing...
On another note...the ugliest thing in the world is ungrace. It's pointing out peoples mistakes and highlighting them. To show grace is to make room for others failures, no matter how large or how small. I saw ungrace when driver screeched his car to a hault after not noticing a man in crosswalk. I saw it when the man (completely unharmed) stopped and stooped to eye level with the driver pointing repeatedly to the sign on the pole flashing "walk." I saw it when the man who felt threatened took a highlighter and pushed it down hard across another man's mistake. His actions shouted "IDIOT!!" to all who looked on.
I must learn to give people grace.
Monday, March 01, 2004
I couldn't live...
I couldn't live with a "remnant". The word makes me crawl in my skin...
The idea of a "sacred social club" or "faithful few" is a scandal - to me it mocks the glory of a great saving God. "Remnant" - it's the language we use when we feel we have lost our grip. It's the language of the defeated. And I refuse to use it at this time and place.
more on U2...
what's so amazing about these guys is this: They have lived out their faith in this brave new world now for some 24 years (in, would shoud hands down be considered one of the most hazerdous to your faith places to do so) as rock legends. And what’s so encouraging to me is that they have survived. And even more than that emerged unscathed (arguably). Even more than that emerged comepletely full of authentic, active, and world changing faith.
They are hero’s. Hero’s for those of us who are climbing our way out of what we know as “the church.” Hero’s for those of us who now move cautiously out into the waters of this new world daring to share the love of Christ. Hero’s, hero’s, hero’s…or prophets?
No I think both...
When we wrote them off, and reclused in our evangelical getthos - they wrote (lyrics) on and wrote the gospel into the hearts of the world. There is much much more...I trust we have much to learn from these prophets...
What they have accomplished in terms of incarnating the gospel is to be recognized and affirmed. I thank God for these men and their compelling journey that calls me to "walk on."
Twice this weekend...
I experienced Mel's version of our story...the Passion...and I wept. That was Saturday. I got to the second to last chapter of Walk On and just fell apart...I wept...what the f***!? That was Sunday. I have alot to say here abou it...and the passion too...just not yet...
