on the back
I am amazed at my inate longing for approval in the sight of people. I love to get a good pat on the back. If I am honest this is what I am always conciously or unconciously looking for. Good sermon Jacob! Good thought man! Great leadership Jacob!

It's pretty sick and lifeless. Right here on the blog. "Will 'they' like it? Or hate it? Will I get stars, brownie buttons, or points? If i say the right thing? If I think the right thought? If I am creative enough? If I am reading the right books?" An acrobat. A poser. A player. A fake.

I just want to be a real person. Not dependant or totally affected by what you do or don't say. I just want to be me. I just want to live before God as me. Oh, the depth of my insecurities, oh the riches of my failures...

Jesus help me see you and be me.
- posted by Jacob B. @ 12:41 PM