'I must be an acrobat, to talk like this and act like that...' -Actung Baby,U2
I am Jacob Bailey. I have been writing here for a while now. I am 27 years old, on the brink of moving to Spain. I love my wife and two beautiful children. Glad you stopped by - please let me know you were here by posting a comment.
leading with QUESTIONS
Thursday, September 30, 2004
amigo's
just added Scott to bloggers out left...he's my man in Spain with IT and Cafe Terra Nova in Santiago. Only time will tell if we get to be better mates in the future. I am prayin the rosary if you know what i mean!?
added Jonah too. He is in Sevilla with 24-7 prayer...check him out in an upcoming Rolling Stone magazine working Ibiza for Christ....cool.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
see through
to see through is to look beyond the criticism of the single, mid 30s woman and see her heart felt cry for community and someone who cares. (see someone in my life)
to see through is to look beyond the harsh words and vulgarity pouring through the lyrics of Eminem and realize there is a wounded child behind the strong façade wishing better for other boys like him. (see album the Eminem Show track 12)
to see through is to look beyond the "sin acts" so easily observed in the lives of others and see sick people in need of the healing touch of Love. (see Luke 5:27-32)
to see through is to refuse to label people (be it fundamentalist, environmentalist, enemy or pagan) and instead to see each person as human begin in search of love, life, and purpose not too much unlike yourself.
Monday, September 27, 2004
gentle savior
fighting off a cold today so my body feels a bit like I am floating around in the clouds. (thanks to theraflu...!) what to say...what to say...what to say...
often I like to write what I feel. But...relecting on feelings is so...well, impulsive and out of balance. Up and down, left and right...all over the place really. I desire to write from the heart. Yah, but what does that mean? "the heart" - dwelling place of purity and filth, Christ and crap, both temple and toilet at the same time. reflected in my writing...I think so.
"Don't worry about tomorrow..." the words of Christ to me today. Today, what about today. Well I am disgusted with my impatience with my son...somehow he taps on my not so holy heart places. He draws out ugly stuff from me...and my greatest fear...he feels the weight of my garbage...is he having to cope with tempermental daddy at age 4? Is he discovering lifelong destructive coping mechanisms for how to deal with his dad that will cause him trouble and great grief down the road? These thought haunt me today. I can't help but think so...can I preserve him from this...save him from his own dad...somehow...I wish and in that wish acknoweledge both truthful yes and no.
I need help. I need salvation. I need my savior today...yes the one who is gentle and humble in heart...oh Jesus I need you today...come and replace my anxt with your costly love...I so need you to fill dark spaces and illluminate dark places....Light and Life come to me this day....
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
power
It's too often all about power. Positioning for power...lately I have been thinking about this and what it means when it comes to "ministry" or "sharing Christ" or whatever we call it. I love power - it taps my sinbent heart. As a minister that's so dangerous. Call me a son of hell rightly so, but it's true. Usually someone is in need and "we the ministers" are called in to spiritually meet that need. It makes us feel valuable, and useful. But it's dangerous because because the things we do and say come from higher plain - and often those who are receiving "our ministry" are in a place (be it spiritually, emotionally, pschycologically, or physicially) where they do not have the willpower to, or simply cannot resist our ministry. Power, power, power...translate this to attempts to evangelize and suddenly we have become the enemy - we are the roaring lion prowling around looking for someone to devour(1 peter 5:8)...again son of hell and satan himself....
Translate this again to our relationship with God. Are we in a posistion of power where we pray the "promises" and wait on God to meet our needs on demand....or.....are we in a lower posistion ready to receive any and all (be it gold or garbage) that comes from the hand of God...??
it all about power...we love it...our hearts long for it...our soul will only live when we sacrifice it at the alter in the way of him who sacrificed all of his....(Phil 2:7)...
(thanks to Lou N. for promting these sobering thoughts...)
Monday, September 20, 2004
Polotics - can't live with em' can't live without em'. Wow! That's original...no way!
Anyway...B. McLaren's sight lead me here. I need to spend some more time here, but from the looks of things I like what I see. I know the "religious right" doesn't speak for me...or even command my vote in any way...
DW as salvaging sage
Dallas Willard is such a sage. I was re-reading pieces from his Spirit of the Disciplines. there is so much here I want hold up and agree on with others together and then go live out...here's a couple of his many great thoughts:
Multitudes are now turnig to Christ in all parts of the world. How unbearably tragic it would be, though, if the millinons of Asia, South America and Africa were led to believe that the best we can hofe for from The Way of Christ is the level of Christianity visible in Europe and America today, a level that has left us tottering on the edge of world destruction. The world can no longer be left to mere diplomats, politicians, and business leaders. They have done the best they could, no doubt. But this is an age for spiritual heroes--a time for men and women to be heroic in faith and in spiritual character and power. (from the preface, p. xii)
Faith today is treated as something that only should make us different, not that acutally does or can make us different. In reality we vainly struggle against the evils of this world, waiting to die ang go to heaven. (preface, p. x, emphasis his)
How often I have sensed this in my gut looking at my evangelical world, to the point of defeat I have felt it. I thank God for people like Dallas Willard, and many others who are helping us zoom out and move on. I swear this has kept me from comitting spiritual suicide or something like it. If these quotes leave you wondering about context and answers go find your copy and read it.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
I just found this piece of advice (can we even call it that?) very hillarious...
" The cross, pitcher, laver and crown are the four symbols that join to illustrate the central theme in The Christian and Missionary Alliance, that is: Jesus Christ is our Savior, Sanctifier, Healer and Coming King. The globe represents our mission in the world. Together they form the C&MA logo which is the registered trademark of The Christian and Missioanry Alliance.
The C&MA logo should be represented with the four main elements in a solid color. The globe should be 50 percent of black or a color that it lighter in shade than the four main elements. The trademark or “TM” should appear to the lower right of the logo.
While the C&MA logo has been separated into individual TIF images, the separated symbols may only be used for educational purposes (such as membership classes, Alliance history, etc.) and cannot be used alone or modified into a new identification image." (as copied from the cma website)
"...and cannot be used alone or modified into a new identification image." Huhh?? Talk about killing creativity...
Do we really care about logo's that much? Is there that much rich meaning in this pretty bland symbol?
this line for the Purpose Driven Life book by Rick Warren really sucks:
"Serious reflection on God's truth is a key to answered prayer and the secret to successeful living." (p. 190)
Why does that suck? Let me count the ways...two primarily. "answered prayer" and "successful living"? Is that what this Christian thing is about? Again thanks Rick, but you've helped me lose the plot once again....
I don't think that is the voice of the prophet calling us deeply out of american values and toward a life of sacrificial love for God and a world of hurting and disallusioned human beings. That sounds too much to me like chump change. When prayer is more like standing in front of the ATM machine trying to punch in the right code to get out the cash and life is more about personal success than sacrifice...
Monday, September 13, 2004
oh I....I....I'm still alive....oh I....
thanks for that thought Eddie Vedder....where is that guy by the way? What is he up to?
YOu know eddie was a huge part of my journey in surviving high school...
A couple of blog entries later...(ones that failed to post and were eternally lost)...here goes another attempt. What caN i say?
I am still the same guy. Still thinking some of those thoughts...still changing into something new/different...hopefull about the future, looking toward moving to Spain in may...trying to survive life here and finish without dropping the ball completely....
busy trying to formulate everything for the transition to Spain. pardon my dormacy...(is that a word?) boy these words here are worth so little...I think even to me....better luck tomorrow I guess....
I swear I have had better thoughts that these over the past couple of weeks...just not right now....
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
can't find the heart to write anything much lately. I feel like I am shouting in the wind sometimes. I am way too busy at this church doing alot of stuff, some of which I enjoy. Other parts I could cerntainly live with out. This sunday marks the kickoff of our support raising efforts for Spain in 2005. We will be speaking here at Neighborhood and showing the video that I have been working on....should be fun....the church is enthusiastic about our future and their role in it. What a blessing...
