confessions on this side of Easter...
what do you do when the cross seems empty to you?
And the empty tomb doesn't mean anything doesn't do anything for you?
Why do I feel so unattached to these sacred symbols? Why do I feel guilty for saying so?
Who robbed me of their meaning? Should I call it up or let it lie?
Why have they been drained of all their supposed stirring power? Or am simply refusing to do the stirring?
Why do the words I preach, why does the "truth" I proclaim seem to leave me as quickly as I speak it? Why can others say yes to my words when even I inwardly say no?
What do I do when my Christian world falls apart quicker than I can keep it together? And what if I don't have the energy to care?
What does one do when all is lost?
What does one do when all staying power is surrendered to the centering forces of the world?
What do I do when the rain falling stops me in my tracks but my bible I must ignore?
What do I do when music fills my heart and mind but my Christian heritage lags and is even left or maybe lost behind?
What do I do when I don't care to be called a Christian anymore and especially identified with any part of that world? What do I do when the church creeps me out and the system I am a part of seems to spit me out?

All I know is that I want to spit it out...all the crap that's been fed me I want to get it out. All the bs. that's a part of me I want to cut it out. I see the beauty in the world around me and for so long they've tried to keep it out...I want all of it and more...I want join with it...and let it mold me and contribute to the harmony that is all of life spinning round me...
- posted by Jacob B. @ 2:02 PM