moving too fast so I spin off something incoherent (sorry)
man I wish i could keep up with this thing linking it to my life. But I can't (really). I mean this is an attempt but it'll fall short I am sure...anyway...

do I recap or rant? recap or rant? hmmm....

life is moving along so fast...we are on par for making the move to spain a reality . People keep giving to make this thing happen...and we are trying hard to do our part. I am fearful and hopeful, excited and anxious, focused and scattered...all of that at once or aleast from one moment to the next...something must be changing...can we ride the avalanche or will be swallowed by it? Who's to say...

I am feeling disconnected...it's vague like when you've had everyone there before then they are all gone and you keep waiting for them to show up (because you know they will) but you know they really won't. Or like bachtracking when your hiking (versus hiking a loop) - it's like this was great the first time but now it is all somehow so hollow cause it's not new...or somethingl like that...

What has happened in the past few weeks...I "preached", I soaked up NT wright, I married some (beaufiful) folks, I heard brennan manning in cannon beach...all this and I lost the plot again. ONe thing stands up against another and they both fall down...and I scratch my head wishing I was live at the local stand up commedy bar, sipping down a Hefeweisen (con lemon) while at the same time making people laugh as I talk about the church and my strange wanderings there. And my feeble imagination gives birth to sketchy hypothesis which I then test for a while forgetting to pool the results and then starting some other project as if I learned somethign that I didn't.

And I wander...and wander...here there too and fro I wander...lost in activity with so little substance. reacting only reacting to life as it comes to me..


- posted by Jacob B. @ 2:52 PM