warning: dangerous thoughts ahead...
I am in such a strange way lately. There is such a multiplicity of directions that my heart is pounding towards. To the left I find myself looking morbidly into the face of evil. Sin so close I can touch it, so self centered and empty I can taste it's bitterness on my tongue. It calls to me to mess with it. It promises it's reward here and now. Yet I resisit, recognizing all to well the stench of death. Yet it calls to me...

To the right a longing for real life - the only life I believe in. The Son - the Father - and the Spirit calling me deeper. Toward something I can't touch, I can't see but something I can know. As I look out and take my inner picture of the reality in which I am existing the only thing that makes sense, that is worth living for, that is worth dieing for, that is worth fighting for, is Love. IT is all I know. We are all a wreck, and on top of us is a world that wrecks us. And some have it far worse than than others. Nothing is fare, nothing is right. Nothing makes sense down here...

Those who live to please themselves contribute the horror, but (and this is my hope) those who live for LOVE are set free to change their world. God of Grace and Lord of Love scoop this wayward heart up out of the shit it likes to slumber in and create in me a new heart that knows your love and walks upright for your glory. Unhinder my life to speak your name, untie my hands to help the weak, free my mind to see you clearly, and let me live to push forward an army of torches who light fires in every dark forest and every back alley and undery every hidden evil place that needs to know your Love. Bring glory to your name... this i pray for the sake of your world, for the sake of your people...bring glory to your name, release your mighty winds from heaven. Blow upon this place...blow on me that I might forget myself. Blow on others who know your name...that they might lose their lives for your sake....bring glory to your name...let us worship you with purpose and tone of life rather than with words of empty promise...LEt us worship you with character and actions...rather than with songs...bring glory to your name oh Lord...blow on me today....replace my wayward two fucking sided heart with something true... Lord I know no other way....I want no other thing...I return to no one else but you...help me find my way home...I am on my way...
- posted by Jacob B. @ 10:35 AM