It is one of those days in Olympia/Lacey. It's grey, it's damp...it time for coffee. Actually tea. Trying to break the coffee death grip.

A warm drink what does it say? To desire it, to make it, to hold it, to smell it, to drink it, to feel it warm the body, to enjoy it deeply and slowly - salvation but for a few moments.

Really, I am lonely. Doing my "church" work but feeling hollow. Wanting to know others and be fully known. I wish old friends who are far away were closer.

Sometimes I struggle to know myself. What am I projecting? Why? Is there a real person inside? Is there a nice person inside? Lord help me love. Shake me from the self centered person that I am. Help me hear you in the moments that remain today. I am lost with out your love Oh Jesus. I am broken, ruined and hopeless without that hope. I feel you sustain me with the sustanence you know I need but not even with the sustanence I think I need. What if you know me better than I will ever know me? What if I can trust you even now?

Grace, for a failing leader. Grace, for flailing husband. Grace, for a selfish pig. Grace, for me. Thank you father.

Grace from our Father to you who read these ramblings...

~jlb
- posted by Jacob B. @ 2:28 PM